November 11, 2010
“In the land of the skunks, he who has half a nose is king." --Chris Farley
I feel like we are living in the land of the skunks ourselves since a colony of them moved into the neighborhood.
We see three regularly on our front lawn, and they have no fear whatsoever.
So far, nothing is working--using live traps, sealing their burrows with dirt and concrete, soaking old towels with ammonia and placing around the exterior of the house, and sprinkling marshmallows, chocolate, or moth balls in the bushes.
I have no idea why any of these remedies are supposed to work, but I am not giving up hope.
After all it is almost hibernation time and soon skunks will make their way to their dens and drift into what is known as "torpor".
I looked that up.
Apparently, torpor is similar to what bears do, wake intermittently from a groggy winter's sleep to feed their young. In the case of skunks, they wake to empty their scent glands. Wonderful news.
All this leaves me wondering why the skunks showed up in the first place.
According to Mike McGroarty, author of The Gardener's Secret Handbook, skunks decide to dig up our lawns mostly in the fall because they go on a grub worm feeding frenzy to get fattened up for the winter.
McGroarty says, "Once they discover that you have Japanese Beetle grubs or other insects in your lawn they will come back night after night. When they get done, it looks like your lawn was roto-tilled."
In the meantime, the skunks live happily outside our door where we have marshmallows and chocolate scattered throughout the shrubs and a blend of ammonia and mothball scents wafting from under the front stoop.
They don't mind, and I am beginning to suspect that they like chocolate and marshmallows drizzled in ammonia.
Since I complain about skunks a lot these days, folks are quick to share their own facts and stories about skunks.
Such as, skunks can fit in tiny spaces and are good diggers, but they can't climb and they can't jump very high.
They save their spray because it takes several days to replenish, and they get frightened without a full load.
They don't like bright lights, and they don't like using only one entrance into their burrow.
They can carry rabies, so one must be cautious around these critters.
Additionally, while walking in their territory, you must be careful to avoid skunk spray at all costs, or you could be about as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party yourself.
Yes indeed, everyone has a skunk story. Trust me, you don't want to hear most of them; they really stink.
